you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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