if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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