My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
We got so high we made milksteak
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
