i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
