It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
