Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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