Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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