member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize