Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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