...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
