I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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