Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
