Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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