Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
