if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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