I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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