this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
