You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
