This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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