at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
