What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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