I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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