Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
