a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
