I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
