the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
