Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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