yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
