yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
