On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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