We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
