aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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