She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
