he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
