try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
