he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
