So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
