This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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