dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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