I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize