i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Randomize
