The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
