It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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