she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
