Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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