Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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