going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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