This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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