Midget sex pt 2 tonight
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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