Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
