Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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