Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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