...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
the liver wants what the liver wants
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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