I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i think i have herpe
just one?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
