I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
