I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
