They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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