Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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