That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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