left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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