where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
