you traded sex for a burrito?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
