we're blogging at a bar
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
